


Sunbird Periodical: Altmeri Gossip Rag

by 2stupid



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Altmer - Freeform, Drabble, Gen, Press and Tabloids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2stupid/pseuds/2stupid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most popular news source in Lillandril, Firsthold, and Cloudrest! Get your copy now! Only five septims! <br/>Contained within: preview of the issue for 3E343.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunbird Periodical: Altmeri Gossip Rag

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted in the BGS forums. Cross-posting here.

 

 

LORD EARMIL REBORN AS NORD: CLAN GRIEVES AND VOWS VENGEANCE AS DETRACTORS INSINUATE ACCUSATIONS OF SOUL-CLUTCH IMPROPRIETY

Clan Taneth (Sui-Jin-Xia) was rocked by the stunning announcement that the venerable Lord Taneth Earmil, known for perfecting the ard-loy method of seed-sowing, whose soul was denied freedom early in the Second Era, has been reborn as a Nord in Skyrim. Dreamsleeve-logiseers claim they have tracked the once-honored ancestor's dissolution and reformation into a young Nordic couple in Falkreath. Clan Taneth has declined to comment, but the seed-seers... (page 2)

 

 

TRANS-CYROD PUDDING FACES: GONE FOR GOOD?

As you may have noticed, perceptions of Altmeri physiology have become increasingly refined over the Eras. Accentuating this decline have been the rise of the so-termed "pudding faces" among expatriates, whose features inevitably come to resemble that of their Cyrod hosts. Recent reports, however, have shown that this is increasingly changing as Altmer realize their innate creation-cursed potential once more, and soon they may be as angular as... (page 4)

 

 

ADA-MANTIA: DO WE REALLY NEED IT?

We all know about Clan Direnni and their Tower by now. Truth is, do we need it? Will it help us return to our past glory, or is it nothing more than a glorified scroll-case, grand testimony to the Time Dragon's great failure? Loremaster Lorints gives us the scoop on the real function of the Towers. (page 5)

 

RISE OF THE THALMOR

"I saw them!" Lady Eilonwy claims. "The Thalmor are coming!" Could it be true? For notes on the highlights of the history of the Thalmor, turn to page 6. For more testimonies, turn to page 7. For King Karoodil's thoughts on the matter, turn to page 8.

 

THREE WAYS TO TEST BLOOD PURITY: TAKE OUR QUIZ NOW!

Have you ever wondered if those newbloods you see in the Foreign Quarter have a lineage to be proud of? Here are three signs guaranteed to tell you if they're only going through a phase or if they truly have a tainted blood-ancestry! (page 9)


End file.
